A Very Ugly Man

A Very Ugly Man with Beautiful Hair

His brown locks hung over his shoulders, twirled like ivy, arranged like a bouquet, held in place by a thin, white bandana. A deep, mellow voice vibrated through the air, through her body, landing on her tongue like she could taste him. Merla teetered on her chair, ready to dive across seated riders and capture her prey.

Unfortunately, he turned around.

His fat, blotchy nose greeted her first. Eyes that disagreed with each other so horribly, they petulantly fled to opposite sides of his face. A clown-wide smile spread on his thin lips and Merla realized too late that she was staring. No longer from desire, from nothing short of bafflement.

His almost-black, brown eyes anchored on her; wherever she swayed, his gaze followed. Until he was seated in the aisle across from Merla, nodding towards her without looking away.

“The detour is gonna make the trip longer. Hope you left early.” He spoke and she focused on not staring at every oddity that culminated in his face.

He nodded towards her again and Merla finally realized he noticed the backpack she was cradling like a protected baby. Thick, bright red letters stitched across the brown fabric, spelling: Victoria Community College.

“Oh. Yeah-hold on.” Merla’s voice slid into distracted murmuring as she patted around for her phone as if it had rung. “Sorry, I have to take this.” She wagged the device to accentuate the point, finally realizing the screen was black when she put it to her ear. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed and she was too ashamed to face him to find out. Her backpack-baby became a shield she clutched, letting it sit between him and her as she huddled by the window.

She felt the change anyway. The sun shined through the windows, but his disappointment made the bus feel dark.

The bus pulled over to let someone off. Just long enough for Merla to gather her nerves and survey the damage she caused.

He had scooted closer to his window. The slump of his body wasn’t disappointment. No, that look on his wide-eyed face felt inevitable. Merla snapped her eyes away. Staring out the window as the bus turned down the detour, passing a coffee shop that had cracked red bricks and for some reason it reminded her of grandma and how she had taught Merla to be so much better than that. Than this.

She sat up straight. This required rapt attention.

“Hey,” she said, a vocal tap on the shoulder.

He ignored her and she absolutely deserved that.

“Hey!” A yell he couldn’t possibly ignore.

But he did, curling into himself as if expecting a blow and leaning his head against the glass. The bus hit a pothole as she stood, making her fall into the seat beside him as if by accident when it had been her destination. She swept all the tension under a quick lie, “Sorry, I’m incredibly bad with strangers.”

He snapped around; an unspoken accusation intertwined with his glare. Merla panicked and reached up, pulling the bandana out of his hair as if they were lifelong friends instead of this tort of battery.

“You should let your hair hang down. It’s the exact kind of hair that I love. So thick and curly but not ramen noodle curly, you know? The kind of hair I could run my fingers through.” Merla had outrun the shame but was now firmly in creep territory.

Shifting to normalcy, she held out the bandana and asked, “What’s your name?”

He slowly pulled the material out of her hand. He was smiling. Not that thin-lipped clown smile, way too genuine for that. He toyed with the bandana, tried to covertly shake his hair loose so it fell over his shoulders. Nervous. Giddy. As if overbearing tortfeasor was his type.

“I’m Jacob.” Like a punctured balloon, he suddenly deflated. “You think I’m ugly.”

They sat in silence

as Merla thought

and he gripped his bandana

and she decided on

sparing his feelings

but

decided against that too when the bus turned into the entrance of the college and she knew their paths may soon diverge.

She held her breath, exposing her nerves. “Yeah, but clearly I’m a bit ugly too. Worst even. Being shallow is hideous” She held out her hand. A greeting and apology humming through her fingertips.

His eyes narrowed but he didn’t seem offended. He was staring past her, as if seeing into another life. Her hand was left in the air as the bus pulled into its stop. People stood and their steps sounded like rain falling as they walked past.

Jacob sighed as if waking up from a melting dream. “You can fix shallow. I just look like this.” The honesty was too fragile to hand over to a mere, rude stranger. Merla took it though. Swaddled it and locked it in away in a safe corner of her heart.

“People fix ugly all the time. You just need a scalpel and a bunch of money that could have gone for a better cause.” For the entire millisecond it took him to respond, Merla sunk in a pitch-black lagoon of dread.

But Jacob chuckled, softly as if unsure. Met her eyes. Maybe he recognized her sincerity. Something changed, like a brightness had encircled both of them. “Miss Merla, you are an odd lady.” Jacob stood and Merla realized the bus would soon take off. The driver had been outside smoking but was climbing into the driver’s seat.

They stepped off the bus and traded smiles before going their separate ways. Merla hoped they would meet again.